Here's a thought: when you break up or fall apart with someone you may be angry or sad or disappointed, but when time goes by you forget all that stuff and just remember the good things. So my point is, is this a good thing or a bad one? Are we slaves of our minds? Because, honestly, sometimes it may be a good thing to just forget what happened if it was some kind of stupid thing... but what happens when is not a stupid thing? You forget and forgive based on a matter of time? That may be the reason why couples try it again but, at the end of the day, the trouble's still out there. Somewhere.

Here's another thought: if what I want is someone to keep me company, can't I just do that with a friend (even a boy friend) and try to make things clear or will it just be even more complicated than it is now?

Five boys in a row, in five days. Is that considered a good or a creepy thing? I may have to reconsider my actions and therefore, my meetings...

I've had a good week. Ignoring the material issues it has been pretty good. I've got to meet many of my friends, I had substantial conversation with people overseas, and then I got some thinking. And I realised how fucked up is the fact that we become strangers with our exes. Isn't that just really weird? People you used to talk to, people you used to know everything about, people you used to see, share experiences, be together, kiss, make love... and when a relationship ends... poof! It all vanishes, goes away and you just get to see what everybody else sees. A person. A person you don't know anymore anything about. No conversations, no meetings, no being together, no kisses, no nothing. And this is just the way it goes: easy come easy go.


I don't even miss him. I think I just miss IT. The fact of having someone you can actually rely on, the fact of having that special someone to tell them everything about horrendous or fantastic day, the fact of maybe, just maybe, even being a "we". Perhaps I'm getting old (well that is a certain fact), but I'm over those crazy nights with random boys, I want something real. I wanted something real, so it might be why I rushed things and became a girlfriend so abruptly.

I am home alone on the night I was supposed to be with my so-called boyfriend to watch a match.

Is it true that we cause ourselves more pain than third parties? Maybe we do like pain and experimenting it makes us feel alive.

Though, I am done with it. Thinking, looking, stalking, following... OVER. I said I was good, and I meant it. I said I realised it was a good idea for us not to be together, and I meant it. I said I thought couples should face the problems together, and I meant it. So if it's fair enough, I'll just get over it.

'Cause my friends are right, life's too short to be sad for a guy that it's just not worth it. I need to go out, take some fresh air, enjoy life as a single girl, be with my friends and decide what I want to do with my life with no one to tell me or force or influence me whatsoever.

I am lucky enough to have people, family, friends, boys that LOVE me. People who is willing to spend their time, their days, their nights with me and just because one single person that isn't even mature or has an stable mind doesn't I CAN'T be down.

And so I am not. I am a new girl, a girl that learns from her mistakes, a girl that realises how lucky she is and a girl who is longing for a new tomorrow to begin and meet new people, new places, new traditions, new friends and, eventually, a new girl that will be ready for a new love.

And that girl is now me.

So apparently I'm pretty good at this. I am a very nice person, he likes me a lot but it doesn't feel right. And therefore the right thing to do is to give up.

There is something in my stomach. But I'm sure I'll be fine pretty soon. 3 weeks. Let's hope sex and city were right.

Let's see how good I am at this.

Bet is on.

I'm feeling like I'm in this weird state of mind. I want it. I really do. But it scares me. It scares me how they would react. Or how they probably will.

It's like everything's so delicate I have to make sure everything's fine or it'll just break into pieces.

This is definitely not how a relationship is supposed to work, is it? But for the first time in my life I'm the one who's running after them. I'm the one who's struggling to make it happen, to make it real. For the first in my life I'm scared of being dumped.

I cannot live like this. But the truth is that I cannot live in any other way right now. It's killing me, it's poisioning me but I need it. I need it to breath, I need to be happy. Happy? Fake-happy? Who knows...

I need you.

Have you ever been in a relationship feeling the other person's not that into you? Why don't they just give up?

I used to be the person who wasn't that into them. However, I feel like I'm the one who's giving more and hoping more out of this relationship.

If someone's not willing to wait for the person they are with, does this mean that they don't give a fuck about them?

Is it weird or inapropriate that I feel they were looking for an excuse to dump me and now that they don't have it anymore they're angry?

Am I willing to lower myself for something I don't feel has a future?

Is it normal that when I'm with them everything's alright but when we're not I feel left out?

Too many questions for just a 2-week relationship. Isn't that a bad sign?

Relationships are supposed to go both ways. You give in, I give in. I am very bad at this, I admit it. I am not perfect. But maybe the other person isn't perfect either. I try hard to understand what is going on in the other person's mind, and I would really appreciate it if they could do the same.

I just need to be listened and feel like they care. Discuss about things and make a final conclusion that satisfies both of us. I DO believe it's possible. Why being in a relationship if not?