It's been a while. Maybe because I wanted some people to forget about the existence of this blog. But mainly because my feelings were just so weird that it was almost impossible to write them down. So many things have happened that I can't imagine where should I begin, I'm just going to say that everything torned into pieces and the ones that used to be together are not anymore. None of them. Well, friendship survived after all.

There are moments when I feel like I'm all alone even though there is always something willing to give that hug you long for. But they're just not enough. Or maybe the people is not enough.

To be honest, I don't know what should I change. I don't even know if I should change. Maybe he was right and I don't know how to be alone.

Maybe. There is always uncertainty around me.

Sometimes I'm feeling down, like I miss you. Too many places and situations that remind me of you. But then I force myself to think about all those time by your side when I wasn't that happy. I guess that when you're used to someone's company there're sometimes that you're vulnerable. It was fine, but it is over.

Our guys don't anymore know how to seduce a woman. So when you find one that does, you just stay and enjoy.

Our guys don't know anymore how to seduce a woman. Really.

Men should understand women by now. Or, at least, how to treat them.

They say love can beat anything. They say that the single thing you need in life is love. Well, I'm guessing "they" are wrong, again.

Does love even matter? I mean, what love are we talking about? I thought we were talking about a lover… I may not be perfect, I may have my flaws but I feel like I am the perfect girl in the world when he's around. Nevertheless, I am pretty damn sure he won't stick around much longer.

So now I'm thinking, he was the one who came back to me, he was the one who started all this thing all over again… And now he's the one who wants to give it up but he just doesn't dare to say it to my face.

What should I do? Handle it however I can and wait for the best or should I just leave it in order to stop hurting me and making it easier to him?

Friendship is one of the most important things in a person's life. I understand that. And I curse this fact.

Just a couple of weeks ago I lost what would be the longest relationship I ever had. Despite de fact that I know that it was the right and the best thing to do, a loss is always hard. But now, knowing that I will have to face another loss, I feel beaten already.

I can offer much. I am running out of time. And I'm losing him. I am sure the next time I'll see him would be the last one and I don't know how to say goodbye to all this.

I could write about this the whole night but, surprisingly, unlike always, it is not making me feel any good so I'll just stop and let my tears say good night.

When you're dying to see someone and they just can't make it for whatever reason it is, I believe I'm in my right to be enraged. If I weren't, wouldn't it just mean I don't give a shit about them?

Maybe I'm too a complicated a woman but simplicity is just not my thing. You get to know me, you just decide whether you wanna know even more or stop there. Your call.

So, I left it. I left him. It tastes bittersweet but it is freedom after all.

He asked me to make a choice. Now. Take it or leave it. I think I want none of them. What should I do? My time is running out.

Nevertheless, he always knows how to make me smile.

I've got this weird sensation that I remember him of someone else. Creepy.

Someone once told me I shouldn't think that much of other people. I'm trying to do some things they don't even know for people who don't think of me that much.

I'm just fed up.

It seems that the story of my life is repeating over and over again. Some days I wake up and I feel happy I feel like everything's perfect. But then, suddenly something happens and everything's fucked up.

I can barely remember those days when everything was perfect. If you think about it I've got nothing to complain about. But I'm just like a child… or so I've been told.

I would give anything, anything, to find my place in this life. But people just won't let me, they turn their backs when I need them the most, as if it was impossible to reach them.

I'm guessing my "No worries" rule isn't working anymore. At least with him.

Being ambiguous can sometimes make things easier. At least for a moment. Maybe things will get even worse in a few weeks but, you know? I just have one rule right now; No worries. I just can't worry about anything, ergo I can't think either.

Let's see how this works out.

Ok, it seems like I've done my choice too. We just don't belong together. I love him. I really do. But it is just impossible for us to be together. We quarrel way too much, we get angry all the time, we don't really talk to each other. And what is a relationship but communication and feelings? We have the latter. But the former is just as important and we don't have it.

I will miss you and I'm sure I will love you for a bloody long time.

I guess he's done his choice. I can't really blame him, can I?

Well, lying is always a reason to be blamed for. I know he lied, and I understand why he did it. Nevertheless, that doesn't make me feel better. It still hurts.

I still have to do my choice, with or without him. I'm afraid I may know what this decision is, but I'm just too scared to face it.

Am I a bad person for not wanting them to be friends ever again? Maybe just selfish.

But, isn't that the story of my life?

When did life become so difficult? I miss those times when you only had to worry about your exams, about what clothes to wear, about what boy you found more attractive.

But now, it seems I only screw it up. When I have it, I think about other stuff, but when I have these other stuff, then I want it back, I miss it.

You know, people should warn you: "Hey, life's fucked up, just stay away from it." That would be a perfect piece of advise. Instead, people just say how wonderful life is when you're with the one, maybe I haven't found the one, or maybe life is not a fairy tail. Maybe you just have to live day by day struggling to reach something you may not know yet.

For what I know, I'm a really confused person who doesn't know what she wants and I hurt people on my way through life.

So tell me, you wise people, what should I do? Maybe 'always tell the truth' would be another wonderful piece of advise. Even if it hurts, truth is always the answer, is always the exit to take, isn't it? Aren't I right?

Well, in that case, wish me luck.

I screwed it up. Once again. What the hell is wrong with me?

I think I may love someone I shouldn't.

What do you do when people let you down?

She's gone. So unfair.
No hope, no love, no glory, no happy ending.

So... Happy New Year 2011! I love you guys, had the time of my life!!