I'm feeling like I'm in this weird state of mind. I want it. I really do. But it scares me. It scares me how they would react. Or how they probably will.

It's like everything's so delicate I have to make sure everything's fine or it'll just break into pieces.

This is definitely not how a relationship is supposed to work, is it? But for the first time in my life I'm the one who's running after them. I'm the one who's struggling to make it happen, to make it real. For the first in my life I'm scared of being dumped.

I cannot live like this. But the truth is that I cannot live in any other way right now. It's killing me, it's poisioning me but I need it. I need it to breath, I need to be happy. Happy? Fake-happy? Who knows...

I need you.